Scottie Grace's Birth Story

Its been a month since our sweet baby girl came into our lives so I thought what better way to celebrate it than writing out her birth story.  

I may be missing details since I'm still in baby-fog brain mode, but I'll try my best.

I want to write it out to her, since this might be the only time I record it.

(all pictures are in film from my sister Elise)

Saturday, March 28, 2015 we all woke up calm, excited and relaxed knowing we would meet you soon.  Your daddy had to take a big final exam for oral surgery so he took the test downtown and then came home.  Your big brother, your dad and I wanted to pass time so we went down the street to miniature golf.  It was a really warm and sunny day.  We all had grins on our faces and every time someone was around us, we had expressions of wanting to tell everyone what was about to happen... well at least I did.  I looked very, very pregnant, waddle and all but so happy to be having you in hours.  

We checked into the hospital and they brought us up to the triage birthing room to prepare for the C-section.  We answered all their questions, sat there patiently waiting for the doctors to come get us. A nurse came in to do my 18-gage IV and put it into my smallest vein which hurt pretty bad.  Your daddy was so excited about you coming, he kept saying every five minutes, "can you believe she will be here soon??" He put on his "bunny suit" to get ready for the operating room.  We talked about what your name would for sure be, well actually your middle name.  We picked your name before we knew you were coming, but the middle name was the toss up.  We almost did Rae, like a ray of sunshine, or Dylan, or Mae like your great-grandma, but after talking to your brother earlier that week, he told us how much he wanted Grace.  Jackson would have been Grace if he were a girl and wanted Jackson to feel more a part of your arrival.

Your Poppi + Mimi were throwing my grandparents (so your great grandparents) a 50th anniversary party down at their clubhouse in San Clemente with all of my dad's side of the family so they rushed up with your auntie Elise to be there right on time.  I felt badly they had to hurry up but this was the day and time the doctors could deliver you.  It was about 3:15pm, and they wheeled me alone into the OR room.  I was a little confused why your daddy couldn't come with me but they said they would let him in after I got the spinal.  I was anxious about the spinal because I've had at least seven or eight that didn't end so well so I was shaking as they are having me hug a pillow (and the nurse) while they are doing their thing.  The IV actually hurt way more than the spinal so that was unexpected.  All the nurses introduced themselves, explaining what part they would play and then laid me down on the bed.  I had nurses and doctors scratching me, prodding at my skin, asking me if I could feel anything. 

My doctor came in which was such a relief; finally a familiar face that knows me well, that I trust.  He said he was talking with your daddy in the hallway and that your Mimi and auntie just got here.  I felt more and more relaxed as he was telling me this.   

  

He sat down, took out the tools and just went for the whole cutting my stomach open, process.  I asked the anesthesiologist if he was starting without your daddy and Dr. Smith said, "Yes, he is just going to get everything started, the baby should be here in minutes." WHAT? What about my husband? What about my family? Am I doing this alone? I could feel every cut, every tug, all the pressure that he put on my stomach and the weight he placed on my stomach to push you down.  Right as he was seconds from pulling you out, your daddy, Mimi and Elise came walking in, sitting down right away next to my head. 

 I then hear my doctor say, "Here comes the baby!" Your daddy held my hand, squeezing it extra tight at that moment.

I instantly got teary thinking about what was actually happening.  You were here.
Life just changed for the better, just like that.

I was so excited and wanted to hear your cry to know everything was okay... but didn't hear it right away.  Five seconds after he pulled you out you belted out a little shreek that was as dainty as ever. He quickly showed us you by lifting you above the curtain, but I only saw your forehead.  The rest of the family saw you and called out what you looked like for me.  It was so fun to hear, "She has the cutest dimple!" or "She is a little Melissa" or "She has the longest legs!" etc.  I was picturing in my head what you looked like the whole time. They kept on saying, "She is beautiful Melissa!"  Your daddy cut your cord and watched everything they were doing over by the nurses.  Auntie Elise took all of these pictures on here, which we were surprised they let us bring a camera into the OR.  She got amazing shots.  Your daddy got a little video of you while they were cleaning you off. You were a lot smaller than we thought you would be.

As they were taking pictures, measuring you, gawking over you, the doctor took your twin out and then started pushing things around.  I have imagined what you and your brother's birth would be like since the day we found out we were having twins.  I pictured what our arms would look like with two babies in them every few minutes for those months we knew there would be two of you.  When we got the news that you were stronger than your brother and his heart had fluid in it, I tried to keep my spirits high from the blow to our hightened expectations.  So many times I thought of what your twin would look like, if he would look exactly like you but a boy or how he would be-- more quiet like your daddy or a chatty kathy like your mama but in the midst of all these thoughts, I've felt comfort knowing he was in a better place.  Doctors have only told me how strong you are and going to be, and this experience really showed it perfectly to me.  Time really heals.  

I could feel everything except the pain which is the weirdest feeling I have ever experienced.  I wanted it to stop but didn't want to complain.  I could feel him stuffing my organs back in with my heart beating really fast.  It felt like my heart was beating inside my head, instantly getting lightheaded.  I asked them how much longer they had because I felt like I was suffocating.  It was a lot more traumatic than I expected.  I then got nervous hearing them say you weren't breathing very well.  They had more doctors come in trying to help you breathe.  I could hear them cupping your back and patting you hard, then hearing sounds of you choking.  I asked every 30 seconds if you were okay.  No one really knew.  The doctor sewed me up and then told me you were the most beautiful baby he has ever seen (he probably says that to every mom) but I think you are the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. The nurses moved me to another bed and brought me to the recovery room.  I was so sad I didn't get to see you or hold you.  I felt like if I held you, you could get better.

While I was in the recovery room, we were so worried about you.  We wanted to know you were okay and no one was updating us.  They said the neonatologist was coming into the OR to be with you and get the fluid out of your chest.  They said its common for C-section babies to not get all their fluid out because the birth canal helps squeeze it out but your levels were low so they had to watch you closely.  Elise stayed in the recovery room with me while your daddy walked over to the nursery where your pediatrician and nurses were to help you.  Elise scratched my arm, fanned me with papers and calmed me down.  The temperature in the room was blazing hot.  Your daddy came back and swapped Elise out.  Jackson was waiting very patiently in the waiting room with Mimi and Poppi.  Mimi helped him get ready to meet you -- Jackson was ecstatic to meet you.

The nurses brought you into me for a few minutes tops, and when they did it was like heaven!  You looked right into my eyes and licked your lips.  I wanted to feed you but they wouldn't let me because you weren't breathing well yet.  Your daddy was taking pictures of you while ooing, and ahhhing at you with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face.  It was a moment I'll never forget.  Your big brother came in and went straight to where your head was.  He looked at you like he has loved you his entire life, or at least that he has waited his entire life to have a sibling.

I felt so special that I got to hold you and wanted to share you with your daddy and brother but they took you away before I was ready.  They really didn't want me to hold you as long as I did.  It was so sad when they took you away because I wanted to be able to help you.  Putting all of your trust into nurses takes a lot but I knew they would take care of you.  Your doctor said you had a small hole in your lung but said you probably won't need a chest tube.  More tests were due for your jaundice and chest.   The nurses kicked everyone out of the recovery room except your daddy, so we stayed in there, anxiously waiting to hear news.  They had to do chest x-rays, tubes down your throat and other procedures to help you breathe and eat.  All the news seemed like it wasn't looking good but we kept our hopes high. 

Your brother Jackson just stood at the nursery's window watching you with the nurses and doctors, concerned about you.  I love this picture because it shows how much he loves you and was worried about you.  He become protective over you automatically.

They moved me over to our first hospital room which was tiny.  The family crowded around my bed and we waited for you to come back.  We waited hours and hours until visiting hours were just about up.  We luckily had a close family friend nurse named Delany who was on her shift that night, taking over your care. Delany was also there for your daddy's birth so we felt extra lucky to have her there with you.  We got notice that she was going to bring her in with the doctor's okay if it was only for a little bit.  When we saw her wheeling you in, we all got so excited to get a chance to hold you.  

Delany passed you to me and encouraged us to do skin on skin.  I loved feeling your tiny body against mine.

  I didn't want to be greedy with my time with you so I handed you over to your daddy.  Hormones, I tell ya, they are raging after birth so I got all emotional again seeing your daddy hold you for the first time.  He was a natural right away and the love he has for you is beaming.  I know you two will have the best daddy-daughter relationship.

Your brother was very eager to hold you, so he was next. 

He was tongue-cheeking it the whole time with you.

He kept asking us, "Does she do anything yet?"

Our very first family photo.

Delany had to take you away because of your breathing and fluid in your lungs which bummed us all out and then everyone left.  We got updates every hour on your progress.  By 4am I was able to feed you for the first time.  You knew exactly what to do and seemed so relieved to be fed from me instead of a tube.  After that you got to stay with us in our room.  We just wanted to hold you without putting you down.  We were so tired and maybe got 30 minutes of sleep.  You were worth every minute of missed sleep.

We are so glad you are here.
You truly are a piece of Heaven.
We love you Scottie Grace.